Confessions of a serial procrastinator

One of my favourite things to do is to browse through Pinterest and saving the pretty pictures or ideas to my various boards. So one day I came across the following quote and whoa, I think it describes me perfectly.

This is so me.

I’m a self-confessed procrastinator and a serious one at that. I’ve been like this since young and I remember I was always putting off my homework and school assignments till the last minute. And yes, I’m also the type of student who starts studying for an exam only three or four days before the exam date. You know the teachers at school are always saying you should revise your work regularly so that you needn’t spend too much time cramming for exams at the end of the semester, right? Well, I’ve never had it in me to do that. I was disciplined enough to study for my tests and exams but just not in the prepare-in-advance way. There had been several occasions when I couldn’t finish studying in time and the stress of pulling all-nighters was horrible. Even now I feel a tad bit uneasy thinking about those few times when I ran out of time to study. I have no idea why I’m always putting myself in such unnecessary situations. For some reason I just can’t start working on stuff early, even if I have plenty of lead time to do whatever that I need to do. I used to think perhaps I function better under pressure since everything almost always gets done but I suspect this might just be a sorry excuse for a bad habit.

Yep, this is what I do.

As what the quote says, my life is a constant battle with procrastination. Now that I’m unemployed, I’m determined to make full use of my time and start working on some projects. The problem is, I know what I want to do but somehow the tasks seem to accumulate to a point where they become further and further away from completion, just like a never-ending to-do list where none of the tasks ever gets checked. Below are some of the things in my to-do list and needless to say, they’ve been there for a while now.

1. Start a to-do list in a journal
To-do lists are a great start for a procrastinator, correct? Except that I haven’t even worked up enough motivation to start working on this.

2. Start on my polymer clay crafts project
I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before but I’ve always wanted to try my hands on polymer clay. I got interested in this during my last jobless stint but I put it off after I started working. I wanted to go back to it but my oven decided to breathe its last breath when I attempted to bake a chiffon cake a month ago. And me being me, it took me several weeks to source for a new oven. I finally placed an order a couple of days ago and the new oven will be delivered next Monday. But first, I’ll need to order some clay accessories from Taobao and Etsy before I can begin, which is something that I haven’t done yet. Sigh.

3. Try out new baking recipes
See point 2. No oven = no baking.

4. Blog about my Bangkok trip
I actually let out a sigh of resignation when I was typing the header. Believe me, I want to do it and I’m actually looking forward to writing it but before I can do that, I need to sort out the photos first. Obviously this is also something that I haven’t got down to doing yet. Are you starting to see what I’m trying to say here?

5. Blog about this post on procrastination
I had this entry planned more than a week ago before National Day and look what happened. I guess at least there’s something for me to strike off from my list now. Small victory!

These are just some examples of what’s going through my head right now. There are so many other things waiting for me to do but in the end nothing is being carried out. Sometimes I feel guilty and I get disappointed with myself for not accomplishing any of the tasks. I seem to know what I should do but I just don’t do it. I read somewhere that this is one of the traits of an INFJ (which I am) so I guess it might have something to do with INFJs’ tendency to overthink things and their anal retentive side. I know exactly what I want but at the same time I want things to be done perfectly, hence the inclination to put things off until I find the right moment and mood to get them done. This in turn develops into the doomed cycle of procrastination.

The endless cycle of procrastination that i get caught in all the time.

It looks like I need to put in more effort and willpower to try to overcome this bad habit of mine. Now please excuse me while I go dig out my journal and start on my to-do list – right after I have my dinner.

A blue Friday

I’m back from my Bangkok trip and I’m already missing the city. This must be the post holiday blues that everyone goes through when they return to earth. I exaggerate but you get my drift. I must say my solo trip went really well! In fact, I’m tempted to plan another trip to Bangkok (yes, again) but I’ll have to hang on to that idea until I’ve secured a job.

I’ll share more details of my trip in my next few posts as I need some time to sort out my photos. Also, I’m not really in the mood to do that now as I’m quite upset by the passing of Chester Bennington. Didn’t think I’d be this affected when the news first broke this morning. It wasn’t until I started listening to Linkin Park’s albums that I realised this is all real. Like what my friend, May has said, I still can’t quite believe this actually happened. So tragic and he’ll definitely be missed by his millions of fans around the world. I just feel extremely sad that we’ll never have the chance to see him perform ever again. I can’t believe this. I was banking on them coming to Singapore this year but looks like it’s not going to happen. Maybe this might never happen ever again. This sucks. I’m in utter disbelief.

Anyway, I also have something that I wanted to rant about regarding an exchange that I had with a former colleague just a few days ago. I’ve never done this before but this thing has been bugging me since and I simply couldn’t wrap my head around why she feels the way she does. I need to vent my feelings out on this one but I’m going to have to post it as a private entry. Gosh, I feel somewhat indignant just thinking about it. Watch this space if you’re interested to know the story and ask me for the password.