It’s going to sound super delayed but hey it’s 2018! Are you surprised that this is my first ever entry in 2018? I guess not. It’s already coming to mid April but I’m still unemployed.
It’s really scary how time flies even when one isn’t working. Just a couple of months ago in January I was brimming with hope that I should be able to secure a job by Chinese New Year. And then Chinese New Year came and went. To be fair, I did receive a few job offers and potential opportunities but there were certain factors about those jobs that made me decline them. I know many of you would probably think I was being picky despite being desperate for a job and honestly I’m not sure how to adequately explain why I rejected them.
Yes, I’m indeed quite desperate to get a job but at the end of the day I still had reservations about those few job offers that came my way. After I left my last recruitment role, I told myself not to ever go into recruitment again. A few months later I began to wonder if I should change my mind about it as I barely got invited to any interviews. I wondered if I should make myself enjoy doing recruitment and focus on applying for recruiter roles because hey, how many people actually love their jobs? But I just couldn’t do it.
I did something that I didn’t think I’d ever do recently. I turned down a job offer after accepting it and I must’ve pissed off a few people along the way. Not to mention I’ve officially burnt the bridge with that employer. I’m not proud of it but I’d like to believe that was the right decision for me. After declining the offer, I felt immensely relieved. In case you’re wondering, yes it was a recruitment role and in hindsight I shouldn’t have accepted it in the first place. I did it simply because I’m desperate for a job and I guess that’s never a good reason to accept a job offer.
I wasn’t even excited about that job offer when I first got to know about it. Aren’t you supposed to feel excited and happy when you receive a job offer? Is this an indicator that the job isn’t what you want? Sometimes I don’t even know if I have the “rights” to be picky about jobs after being on the market for so long. I know some people might say things like, “You shouldn’t be so fussy and should be glad someone is willing to hire you after so long!” or “There isn’t a perfect job out there so quit finding excuses not to take on the job.” etc. But my question is, is it wrong to try to find something that I truly have some interest in? I’m fully aware that there isn’t a so-called perfect job out there. I’m really not that deluded. But should I just take on any job that comes along, even though I’m certain I wouldn’t like it and most likely will struggle to perform well in it? I really don’t have an answer to that.
One thing about having gone through these prolonged unemployment stints is that I’ve come to realise who are those few individuals who continue to be supportive of me. My life at this moment might suck real bad but I’m very grateful to my family (sis, mum and dad!) and friends who understand my predicament without judging or berating me. I’m also thankful to them for helping me and giving me encouragement and affirmation when I needed them most. You know who you are! ๐
On a separate note, I finally started working on my polymer clay crafts a few months ago and opened a new Instagram account for my creations at Merry Little Things. Check it out and follow me if you can!