The ever elusive ideal job

It’s going to sound super delayed but hey it’s 2018! Are you surprised that this is my first ever entry in 2018? I guess not. It’s already coming to mid April but I’m still unemployed.

It’s really scary how time flies even when one isn’t working. Just a couple of months ago in January I was brimming with hope that I should be able to secure a job by Chinese New Year. And then Chinese New Year came and went. To be fair, I did receive a few job offers and potential opportunities but there were certain factors about those jobs that made me decline them. I know many of you would probably think I was being picky despite being desperate for a job and honestly I’m not sure how to adequately explain why I rejected them.

Yes, I’m indeed quite desperate to get a job but at the end of the day I still had reservations about those few job offers that came my way. After I left my last recruitment role, I told myself not to ever go into recruitment again. A few months later I began to wonder if I should change my mind about it as I barely got invited to any interviews. I wondered if I should make myself enjoy doing recruitment and focus on applying for recruiter roles because hey, how many people actually love their jobs? But I just couldn’t do it.

I did something that I didn’t think I’d ever do recently. I turned down a job offer after accepting it and I must’ve pissed off a few people along the way. Not to mention I’ve officially burnt the bridge with that employer. I’m not proud of it but I’d like to believe that was the right decision for me. After declining the offer, I felt immensely relieved. In case you’re wondering, yes it was a recruitment role and in hindsight I shouldn’t have accepted it in the first place. I did it simply because I’m desperate for a job and I guess that’s never a good reason to accept a job offer.

I wasn’t even excited about that job offer when I first got to know about it. Aren’t you supposed to feel excited and happy when you receive a job offer? Is this an indicator that the job isn’t what you want? Sometimes I don’t even know if I have the “rights” to be picky about jobs after being on the market for so long. I know some people might say things like, “You shouldn’t be so fussy and should be glad someone is willing to hire you after so long!” or “There isn’t a perfect job out there so quit finding excuses not to take on the job.” etc. But my question is, is it wrong to try to find something that I truly have some interest in? I’m fully aware that there isn’t a so-called perfect job out there. I’m really not that deluded. But should I just take on any job that comes along, even though I’m certain I wouldn’t like it and most likely will struggle to perform well in it? I really don’t have an answer to that.

One thing about having gone through these prolonged unemployment stints is that I’ve come to realise who are those few individuals who continue to be supportive of me. My life at this moment might suck real bad but I’m very grateful to my family (sis, mum and dad!) and friends who understand my predicament without judging or berating me. I’m also thankful to them for helping me and giving me encouragement and affirmation when I needed them most. You know who you are! ๐Ÿ™‚

Just as the saying goes, when life gives you lemons… make lemonade! ๐Ÿ˜€

On a separate note, I finally started working on my polymer clay crafts a few months ago and opened a new Instagram account for my creations at Merry Little Things. Check it out and follow me if you can!

A blue Friday

I’m back from my Bangkok trip and I’m already missing the city. This must be the post holiday blues that everyone goes through when they return to earth. I exaggerate but you get my drift. I must say my solo trip went really well! In fact, I’m tempted to plan another trip to Bangkok (yes, again) but I’ll have to hang on to that idea until I’ve secured a job.

I’ll share more details of my trip in my next few posts as I need some time to sort out my photos. Also, I’m not really in the mood to do that now as I’m quite upset by the passing of Chester Bennington. Didn’t think I’d be this affected when the news first broke this morning. It wasn’t until I started listening to Linkin Park’s albums that I realised this is all real. Like what my friend, May has said, I still can’t quite believe this actually happened. So tragic and he’ll definitely be missed by his millions of fans around the world. I just feel extremely sad that we’ll never have the chance to see him perform ever again. I can’t believe this. I was banking on them coming to Singapore this year but looks like it’s not going to happen. Maybe this might never happen ever again. This sucks. I’m in utter disbelief.

Anyway, I also have something that I wanted to rant about regarding an exchange that I had with a former colleague just a few days ago. I’ve never done this before but this thing has been bugging me since and I simply couldn’t wrap my head around why she feels the way she does. I need to vent my feelings out on this one but I’m going to have to post it as a private entry. Gosh, I feel somewhat indignant just thinking about it. Watch this space if you’re interested to know the story and ask me for the password.