A new beginning, a new adventure

Next Tuesday will be my last day of work and I can’t say I feel sad or sorry about it. There really isn’t a single thing that will make me miss this place. Zilch. Nada. In fact, I can’t wait to skip my way out of the office for the very last time on Tuesday. When I think back on my time at the company, I find it ironic how different things have turned out. I remember feeling extremely excited and optimistic when I first joined the company and I even hoped I’d do well enough to get offered a permanent role. Who would’ve thought things would go south so quickly?

I tried to stay positive and not let the hostilities get to me. I really did. I guess I can only say I wasn’t able to make myself adapt to the culture and style of the team. I’m glad though, to know that I’m not the only person who feels this way about the shitty culture and the less than desirable characters there.

Anyway, this unpleasant episode is going to be history very soon and I should look forward to a new beginning. I’ll get on with my job search and start writing more often. And yes, I’m also planning a short solo trip to Bangkok! This is going to be my first solo trip and to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand I’m totally excited and confident about going on a trip on my own but the thought of having nobody to fall back on in a foreign city scares me a little. I know Bangkok is easy to navigate especially since I’ve been there numerous times before but being totally alone is a new experience for me. Being an introvert, I tend to leave the tasks that involve talking and bargaining etc to someone else but I’ll have no one to depend on for this trip. I sure hope I’ll be able to cope with handling everything on my own and still have fun along the way. Can’t wait to work on the itinerary and I’ll share my experiences (and perhaps adventures) when I’m back. Stay tuned!

Light at the end of the tunnel

Hello I’m back. So much for saying I intend to write more regularly in one of my posts last year. Yes, last year. It’s been THAT long.

Anyway, I thought I’ll just share that I’m leaving my job at the end of May. Even though I don’t relish the idea of being unemployed again, I’m really glad that I can finally bid goodbye to my job. It’s been a difficult and challenging period for me but I’ve learned a lot from the people and my job there. And I don’t mean that in an entirely positive context.

There are a few people I wish I’d never met but I also got to know a couple of genuine and helpful people who made my days at work a little less miserable. Genuine and helpful being the key words here. I’ve worked in so many companies before and I’ve got to say this is one of the most difficult environment I’ve ever worked in. Zero cooperation and communication within the team. Till today I’m still unable to adapt to and don’t agree with the style of the team. This is not the type of team that I want to work for.

I also proved to myself that recruitment is not something that I enjoy or can do well. I simply don’t have the aptitude to be in this role. I found myself asking this question a lot over the past year – Can one perform well in his/her job if he/she doesn’t have the passion for it? I don’t have an answer to this but I strongly believe I’ve carried out my duties and responsibilities to the best of my ability. I don’t ask for applause or commendation but at least show some appreciation instead of highlighting my faults at every opportunity. Yes, I’m fully aware that I’m not good enough but shouldn’t you be more encouraging, instead of constantly beating your teammates down? I just don’t understand.

I came across the quote below on Pinterest the other day and it perfectly sums up how I feel towards the whole situation.

difficult people

I guess I’ll have to thank them for showing me how unforgiving and fake one can be. I’ll never be able to make myself do that to others. Maybe that’s exactly why I can’t survive in that environment. Oh well, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just damn relieved that it’ll be over for me soon. Can’t wait for May to come.

Anti-social me

Just the other day my sister bumped into an ex-classmate of mine and the said ex-classmate actually stopped and chatted with her. I was in the same clique with her in the first two years of my secondary school but I’ve not seen her in years. In fact, the last time I saw her was at a class reunion easily a decade ago (oh my, this makes me feel real old). Anyway, she exchanged numbers with my sister (who was too polite to reject her) and wanted us to add her as a friend on Facebook. I received her Facebook friend request shortly after my sister’s encounter with her but me being me, decided to ignore her request altogether.

I know my reaction may come across as strange or even snobbish to some, especially since we were considered quite close back in those days. But I don’t know, these things somehow make me uncomfortable. Adding someone on Facebook isn’t a big deal but when it comes to getting re-acquainted with ex-classmates, I get freaked out for some reason. I think it’s the possibility of that person trying to reconnect with me and wanting to catch up that makes me so adverse to it. I’m perfectly okay not having to meet some of these people again and adding them to my Facebook may just jeopardise this. There are people who relish the idea of catching up with their ex-classmates and rekindling an old friendship or two. There’s nothing wrong with this of course but I can only say I definitely don’t belong to this camp.

Yup. This probably sums it all up.

As you probably can tell by now, class reunions and gatherings are not my thing at all. I mentioned earlier that I attended one years ago and I have to say it started off pretty well. It was actually quite interesting to catch up with the people whom I’ve not seen in ages and trust me, this says a lot coming from the anti-social me. However, as the night wore on, I came to realise why I dislike such events so much. After the initial hellos and obligatory small talk, most of us simply drifted back to the same group of friends that we’ve been keeping in touch all along. Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of having a class reunion? Why would I need to make it to the gathering just to catch up with my close friends? I don’t get it. And amazingly enough, the so-called popular ones still mingled mainly within their own clique right from the start. You would’ve thought high school was over a long time ago and we had all grown up to become mature and sensible adults.

Anyway, I must clarify that I’m not unfriendly or a snob, it’s just that I don’t like to socialise or engage in awkward small talk unless absolutely necessary. Not sure if any of you get what I’m trying to put across here?