Anti-social me

Just the other day my sister bumped into an ex-classmate of mine and the said ex-classmate actually stopped and chatted with her. I was in the same clique with her in the first two years of my secondary school but I’ve not seen her in years. In fact, the last time I saw her was at a class reunion easily a decade ago (oh my, this makes me feel real old). Anyway, she exchanged numbers with my sister (who was too polite to reject her) and wanted us to add her as a friend on Facebook. I received her Facebook friend request shortly after my sister’s encounter with her but me being me, decided to ignore her request altogether.

I know my reaction may come across as strange or even snobbish to some, especially since we were considered quite close back in those days. But I don’t know, these things somehow make me uncomfortable. Adding someone on Facebook isn’t a big deal but when it comes to getting re-acquainted with ex-classmates, I get freaked out for some reason. I think it’s the possibility of that person trying to reconnect with me and wanting to catch up that makes me so adverse to it. I’m perfectly okay not having to meet some of these people again and adding them to my Facebook may just jeopardise this. There are people who relish the idea of catching up with their ex-classmates and rekindling an old friendship or two. There’s nothing wrong with this of course but I can only say I definitely don’t belong to this camp.

Yup. This probably sums it all up.

As you probably can tell by now, class reunions and gatherings are not my thing at all. I mentioned earlier that I attended one years ago and I have to say it started off pretty well. It was actually quite interesting to catch up with the people whom I’ve not seen in ages and trust me, this says a lot coming from the anti-social me. However, as the night wore on, I came to realise why I dislike such events so much. After the initial hellos and obligatory small talk, most of us simply drifted back to the same group of friends that we’ve been keeping in touch all along. Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of having a class reunion? Why would I need to make it to the gathering just to catch up with my close friends? I don’t get it. And amazingly enough, the so-called popular ones still mingled mainly within their own clique right from the start. You would’ve thought high school was over a long time ago and we had all grown up to become mature and sensible adults.

Anyway, I must clarify that I’m not unfriendly or a snob, it’s just that I don’t like to socialise or engage in awkward small talk unless absolutely necessary. Not sure if any of you get what I’m trying to put across here?

A short update

I know I’ve been away for a (long) while so I thought I’d pop by here to share some updates. I try hard not to talk about my work but somehow it’s pretty much the only thing I can talk about. Believe it or not, I’m actually tired of ranting about my job (or the lack of one in the past) but I guess my life is so uneventful that I simply don’t have other stuff to write about.

I’m still with the company that I mentioned in my last post back in February and let’s just say I don’t like it there. Before you start thinking hey, this person must be a problematic employee who seems to have issues with every company, I want to mention that I have another colleague who shares exactly the same sentiments as me. I’m positive that this time round, the problem doesn’t lie with me. My contract is ending in January next year but there’s an opportunity for an extension, albeit a short one. As much as I dislike the job and certain people there, I’ll probably accept it while I continue to look out for a new job.

I’m thinking I should return to my blog and come up with other more interesting things to write about. Make it a regular thing, you know? But judging from my lack of discipline, it might just fizzle out even before I begin. Well, maybe it’s time to start planning something.

My eureka moment

My first post in 2016! Hope the new year has been wonderful for everyone so far. Remember I wrote about having gained some new perspectives regarding my current jobless situation in my previous post? Well, over the past few months I’ve been asking myself how on earth did I manage to land myself in this situation repeatedly. Was there really a problem with my past few jobs? Or was it due to the incompetent boss and irritating co-worker? Or does the problem actually lie with me?

Also, why is it always so difficult for me to find a new job? I see people nailing their job interviews easily and getting themselves a new job so effortlessly. Am I really that bad at marketing myself? What am I doing wrong? Or is my poor employment record the problem? This is all very ironic, considering I’m in HR and I actually interview people. I should know how to ace an interview, right? Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be the case. I absolutely hate it when recruitment consultants ask me why am I taking such a long time to find a job. Do they really think I enjoy being unemployed for so long? Do they know just how many applications I’ve sent in so far? I really can’t do much if employers find me unsuitable for their roles, can I?

I’m surprised at myself that I’ve never really given these questions a proper thought until recently. I’ve always believed I was just plain unlucky to encounter a terrible boss which led to my departure from that company. You know, the circumstances were working against me, etc etc. Sure, there was no doubt she made my life miserable and the idea of going to work was so dreadful that I actually lost sleep over it. Then again, was the situation really that unbearable? Or was I just too inept to handle the stress? After thinking it through, I’ve come to the conclusion that I seriously need to change my outlook in life.

I realised I’ve been too pessimistic all along. Yes, pessimistic is the word. I viewed things from a negative perspective all the time and reacted accordingly. Whenever I had to deal with my ex-boss and ex-colleague, I’d get all riled up over nothing as I’d reached the stage where I could no longer stand working with them. I’d tell myself I hate working there and I wish I could leave the company immediately. The negativity affected my morale badly. If I’d been a tad bit more tolerant and didn’t let those people get to me, I might’ve been able to persist longer and resign only after I’ve secured a new job.

Having said all that, I don’t regret my actions at all. I believe everything happens for a reason and I hold on to the hope that I’ll be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel very soon. I made a promise to myself that I’ll take on any challenges bravely with as much optimism as I can muster from now on. I must persevere and not give up so easily.